3 Most Painful Things Experienced in the Twin Flame Journey (and How To Avoid Them)

What are the 3 most painful things a Twin Flame can experience on their Twin Flame Journey?  Are you in what you would call ‘Twin Flame Pain’?

Off the top of my head, I am guessing you are expecting to have me discuss: Separation, Ghosting, and Karmic Partners, or something similar.

True. These are all very painful things. I agree.

But they are also just 3D things.


TWIN FLAME PAIN:   3 Most Painful things about the Twin Flame Journey

Remember that Twin Flames have a spiritual and energetic connection that goes beyond the physical.

This means  3 of the most painful things on the Twin Flame Journey can be things you may not be able to see, and therefore may not realize you need to face, and clear.

In my experience and from coaching many Twin Flames, the 3 most painful things we encounter throughout our Twin Flame Journey are actually:

  3. FEAR.

Other painful things are usually just a derivative of these.


Our beliefs play a bigger role than you think

I remember very clearly the day that I heard well known author, Brian Tracey, define ‘STRESS’.

He explained stress as “the gap between where you currently are, and where you want to be”.

As a highly-stressed, type A personality person, who never liked to say ‘no’ or admit defeat – trust me, this hit hard.

With this definition you can look at stress two ways:

  1.  You are a helpless individual in a world that is out to get you, and there is nothing you can do but suffer over a situation you can’t change.
  2.  Or, You have the power to create the world you want, and getting stuck in any ‘IT MUST BE THIS WAY’ thinking, can create a lot of unnecessary stress !

I had several instantaneous ‘ah-has’ upon realizing this and started to see things,including my behavior, in a different light.

To quote many successful authors – “Change your Thinking, Change your Life”.


How does this apply to Twin Flames?

Let’s apply Brian Tracy’s definition of ‘Stress’ to the Twin Flame Journey…


Within a Twin Flame Journey a lot of the pain, agony and stress in our Twin Flame relationship comes from the gap between where you are currently are (3D reality), and where you feel you should be, ie. ‘playing happy families with your Twin Flame’.

Now… Don’t get me wrong….

I am not anti-happy families or anything like that.

But I am anti-100% attaching to ‘THE’ idea (like a dog with a bone and refusing to let go) that your future life with your Twin Flame can only look ONE WAY.

Because, the current lack of it being that way – (ie. the gap between your reality and your desires) – is what is causing you all the pain.

Why do we have this gap? It has a lot to do with our ATTACHMENTS and EXPECTATIONS.


Let me explain further….

For Twin Flames: the Spiritual Mission is more important that any Physical One

The Twin Flames Journey is an accelerated self-actualization process designed to help each Twin Flame quickly remember the Divine Souls that they are, for the purpose of uplifting the vibration of love on Gaia/Earth.

When you and your Twin Flame get into this fully actualized state of having complete love for yourself and each other. You will consciously be making a decision together on how you want your life(s) to look.

• It may be that you are both living together and playing ‘happy families’, or it may not.
• It might be that you just want be friends, or have a platonic relationship.
• Or perhaps, you decide for the short-term to stay in existing relationship(s) due to your children etc.

And because of your love for each other, you both understand and agree.  And you will be completely happy with whatever is decided, even if it isn’t your first preference.


Not at this stage yet?

Now, if you are recoiling in pain at this moment, it is because you are (sadly/unintentionally) living in ATTACHMENT, EXPECTATION, and FEAR.

You most likely are:

1. 100% ATTACHED to life with your Twin Flame looking 100% one-way
2. EXPECTING your Twin Flame to 100% agree with you on how your life ‘should’ look,
3. Living in constant FEAR, of not having or getting that.

No wonder you are panicking. (BIG Sympathies and HUGS!!)

But Twin Flames aren’t about that.


What the Human You (Ego) wants and what your Soul wants may be different

We don’t need to have our Twin Flames physically in our life to be happy and whole. We can always feel their love, wherever and whatever they are doing. Yay!

It is awesome to have them in your life physically, but it isn’t truly essential. (Not like how Breathing is essential…)


Twin Flames are here to love each other, change relationship templates, and spread unconditional love.

When you and your Twin Flame get to that fully self-aware and actualized-state, all you want for each other (the other part of your soul) is to be **Happy**.

Until you get this, and accept whatever happens as absolutely ‘perfect’, you will get STUCK in that state of ‘Twin Flame’ STRESS : – living in FEAR, as a result of your ATTACHMENTS and EXPECTATIONS.

Most likely, you are probably not ‘being your True Self’ and/or nor the nicest person to be around either.

So is it any wonder that your Twin Flame may have not yet have come ‘home’ to stay?


Embody love, don’t seek it. You ARE LOVE

Love does not dictate, control, or demand. Love is open, receptive, and accepting.

Whatever picture of the future life you and your Twin Flame create – you will create TOGETHER.

  • It will be something that both of you agree on and make sure happens, in whatever form it takes.
  • It will also happen in perfectly alignment with Divine Timing.

So, there is no need to fear, and desperately cling onto an idea (ATTACHMENT), or to unintentionally enforce your EXPECTATIONS on your Twin.

That isn’t how LOVE acts, it’s FEAR.


How to move forward?

There is no need for your Twin Flame Journey to be so painful.  You can avoid Twin Flame Pain by:


1. Remembering YOUR Twin Flame Journey is “YOUR” Journey

    • Consciously recognize that you love your Twin 100%, and they love you too, regardless of how your 3D ‘relationship’ together develops.

2. Starting with a clean slate:

    • Drop your existing ‘stress’ caused by ATTACHMENT, EXPECTATIONS, and FEAR.
    • Work out what it is you have been believing in order to feel this way, and question if your beliefs are actually true.

3. Stay focused on the LOVE:

    • Embrace true love instead.
    • Start with self-love and acceptance for yourself first – (and this means all parts of you… even the ones you aren’t so keen on.)

4.  Realize how you FEEL is ‘KEY’  (Not what is happening in the 3D)

    • When you fully embody the understanding that all you want is for you Twin – is to be happy – (and they want the same for you), a lot of your stress will fall away.


And from this position you will be in a much better place to create your dream life, one that includes your Twin Flame.  🔥🔥


To learn more about the problems of EXPECTATIONS in a Twin Flame Relationship, see my two part series:



Be loved!

You’ve got this.


Kristina x

PS. If you’ve been on the Twin Flame Journey a while and are completely confused on what to do next, check out my ‘BIG Picture’  Twin Flame Guidance Offering, where I analyze your Twin Flame story and provide some logical next steps.  Sometimes you just need a different perspective! 🙂


Print Friendly, PDF & Email