** Nearly a year ago, I experienced very strongly some energetic energies around relationships expectations that made me want to run. I share this personal story to help other Twin Flames. **
[Note: This post is the second post in a 2-part series on Twin Flame Expectations. You can find the first post here… “Twin Flame Expectation: Are your relationship expectations energetically repelling your Twin Flame?”]
Twin Flame Expectations contain Energy than can Repel your Twin Flame
In the first post of this topic, I mentioned how ‘Having Twin Flame Expectations’ of what your union will look like, or what your Twin Flame ‘SHOULD’ (in YOUR mind) do, can potentially negatively affect your Twin Flame Union.
Our thoughts have energy, and as one soul in two bodies, Twin Flames can easily pickup on your expectations. This is why in Twin Flame World, people will so many times say ‘Surrender’ or ‘Let Go’. They are not saying to let go of your Twin Flame and the possibility of a future harmonious relationship with them. But rather to let go of the desire and need to control the timing and ‘exactness’ of how it looks.
I’m more spiritual than religious, but the phrase ‘Letting go and Let God’ comes to mind. Let Divine Timing, deliver to you what you and your Twin both agreed to, at a soul level, prior to incarnation.
Below, I share a very personal example of how powerful expectations were shown to me as a Twin Flame, and made me want to run. A feeling that I am sure many Divine Masculine Twin Flames experience, when first learning about Twin Flames. Or, when their Twin Flame counterpart expects more from them, than they are currently able to give.
Please note: This experience occurred with a Man who was ‘mirroring’ things to me, on behalf of my Twin Flame.
Here is what happened….
The Physical Power of ‘Relationship Expectations’ (My personal story)
About a year ago, I had a really good example of the power of expectations, and how horrible they feel.
It gave me some insight, and helped me as the Divine Feminine, to truly understand how so DIFFICULT it might be for a newly-awakened masculine Twin Flame, to reach out and contact an already-awakened Twin Flame partner.
The Meeting
I bumped into an old work colleague (and ex-manager) who is about my fathers’ age. I hadn’t seen him for over 20 years, but had fond memories of this man as one of the best managers, I had ever had. His style of working reminded me so much of my Twin Flame, who I also had worked with.
I had been reviewing my career choices and my work life over the last couple of months. So, when I bumped into this man (with my new fully-awakened heart chakra), I took the opportunity to thank this man for the impact he had had on my life. I told him how grateful I was that I had him as a Manager all those years ago, and what a difference he had made to my life (and career) across the two companies where we had worked together.
We exchanged mobile phone numbers. Then living near to each other, caught up a week later over coffee to find out what each of us had been up-to over the last 20 years. Not long after we worked together, he retired, whilst I had just been starting my career.
….The link to my Twin Flame Journey
Now what is really interesting about this meeting and caught my immediate attention is:
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- This man’s initials – are my Twin’s initials – reversed.
- This man and I met and worked together, in the same way that my Twin and I also met at work and worked together.
- I also bumped into him unexpectedly …something I was hoping would happen with me and my Twin.
(For those of you who are new to my blog or not read many of my posts, my Twin Flame and I seem to do things in 3 years stints. 3 years from sighting him, to being introduced to each other. Another 3 years to our first conversation, etc. So, it makes sense to me that any separation would end after 3 years, or we would at least ‘re-meet’ around the 3-year time frame. My fingers were crossed, and my eyes and ears open to all possible synchronicities.)
The Invitation and unveiling of EXPECTATIONS
After enjoying our coffee catch up, I had to smile when he rang me early on a Sunday morning, only a week later, to invite me to dinner in a couple of weeks. I had met his wife previously, and instantly felt would be fun to catch up with this outgoing and funny 70+ year old man.
As we talked, I couldn’t help but laugh at what he said. I had never had a ‘father’ ask me out on behalf of his ‘son’ before.
However, as he kept talking, I started to feel VERY, VERY uncomfortable.
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- He went on to explain that he was inviting me to dinner so I could meet his son, who I had never met. His son lived in another part of the country (2 hour flight away), and was recently divorced with 2 school age kids, but regularly flies down every two weeks so his kids can see their grandparents.
- He wanted me to meet up with his son because he thought I would be a good romantic partner for him.
- He wanted us to meet over dinner (no obligation, of course …Ha Ha, Yeah, right!!). But if we liked each other, then we could ‘DATE’ every 2 weeks when his son was in town, so his son wouldn’t be so lonely after his divorce!!!
My Energetic Reaction —> Time to Run
As I listened, and the more I discovered how he had my entire life mapped out for me. The worse I felt. Listening to him explain all of this, made me want to throw up….!
Inside and energetically, I was reeling in shock. My body was desperately wanted to ‘exit stage right…!’. To Run and never revisit this again.
~ Uncomfortable feelings make Twin Flames want to run ~
Not only was my stomach in knots, but my head was also going around and around in circles. There were many reasons why I felt so repelled and wanted to run:
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- Since igniting the alchemical merge with my Twin Flame, I have had absolutely no interest in meeting another man. I’ve found ‘THE ONE’ whom I was subconsciously searching for my entire life!
- I’m 100% committed to my Twin Flame and am very happy at being alone, up until when, or maybe even if, my Twin wishes to change the nature of our connection.
- I have never been a casual dater, and I am definitely not about to start now. I need to have a strong emotional connection to a man in order to be interested in them romantically. Hence, most of my previous ‘love interests’ including my False Twin Flame and True Twin Flame, were men I knew well from working with them.
- If I was ever to meet another man in a dating situation, I would be very upfront with them about how my heart was already ‘taken’ and that I loved another person. I know that any type of rejection hurts, and didn’t want to hurt to hurt his son.
- Perhaps most importantly.. I was badly triggered by the unspoken ‘inference’ that I should ‘do the right thing’ and put aside my own desires and wishes to make someone else happy. (For any Twin Flame DM’s reading this, can you relate???)
The Catch 22 – Either / Or – No-one Wins Situation
I felt really trapped. As much as I had originally loved the idea of going to dinner with my ex-colleague and his wife. The idea was now tainted with a feeling of HUGE expectations.
Yes, I could go to dinner, and met his son. ….But since I wasn’t interested in dating his son, I would then somehow need to extract myself from any further requests for sharing time with the son.
I would need to reject a person who didn’t deserve rejecting.
All through during the dinner, I would be imaging how I would have to ‘let the son down lightly’, and say I wasn’t interested in pursuing anything more with him.
It was all too hard, too emotional, too frightening and felt too icky. I truly didn’t want to go there.
(As a quick aside, dear DFs, can you see how perhaps your Masculine Twin Flame, might be feeling the same way in reaction to any expectations you are holding about your future relationship together!!)
Desperate to escape the phone call and all its uncomfortable feelings, I told my ex-colleague that since I wasn’t used to having a father asked me out on behalf of his son, I would need to think about it, and call him back. At which point I hung up the phone call.
The Aftermath…Experiencing unwanted expectations lowers your vibration
For the next two weeks, I thought long and hard over the dinner invitation. I felt I needed to ring my ex-colleague back, but I honestly still didn’t have an answer that I was comfortable with. I would have loved to have gone to dinner with old friends, but knowing I would have to reject (or at least discourage) the son – through no fault of his own – held me back from accepting.
The feeling of expectations and obligations was heavy in the air.
I kept asking myself….“How could I be my true and authentic self, when I felt I was expected to act in a particular way by others?” There wasn’t a good way out.
I felt I needed to choose what I didn’t want (ie. miss the dinner), because I felt I needed to protect myself from an uncomfortable situation (ie. being put in the unwanted situation of having to reject another person because I am not interested in anyone other than my twin).
Twin Flame Expectations don’t allow Twin Flames to authentically express and be themselves
Other people’s expectations and the feeling that you need to live up to them, feel horrible. Expectations don’t’ work with Twin Flames and our need to always be our true and authentic selves.
It is now nearly a year later, as I publish this post, and I still haven spoken to my old colleague again. If he rang today, to ask for my answer, I would still have to say no, because it isn’t a situation I want to put myself in.
The sad things is, if my ex-colleague hadn’t told me about his underlying motivations I would have freely gone to dinner, and hopefully had a wonderful time. If his son was there and had asked me out, I could have openly told him without any drama or angst, that I wasn’t interested in dating at this time. But the Fathers’ matchmaking expectations truly colored my experience and made me feel that I – in all integrity – can’t go to dinner unless I am willing to be open a ‘potential’ relationship with his son, which I AM NOT!.
Expectations truly suck. They hurt you and the other person. They restrict us from being true to ourselves, and acting naturally in accordance with what our heart and soul wants.
Is this how the Divine Masculine Twin Flame feels when being told he is a Twin Flame?
I really wanted to share this story, because whilst I identify as the Divine Feminine (DF), this experience gave me the ability to start to see the Twin Flame Journey from the Divine Masculine (DM) perspective.
Could this situation be where many masculines are at now? Wanting very much want to be with you, yet it doesn’t yet quite feel right or 100% authentic at this stage, as they can energetically feel your expectations?
As I discovered through my own experience, our Divine Masculines need to honor themselves and their feelings – this is how they will know when it is right, to return to you.
DF’s please know that by projecting ‘must have’ expectations and desires on to your Twin Flames and your relationship with them, you are not allowing it to unfold naturally. You, from your limited 3d perspective, are expecting it to appear a certain way and in a certain time frame, when in fact the Divine Plan is always so much better.
Drop your Expectations. Be open and allowing to whatever you and your Twin Flame planned
My point in this post isn’t to point out that you are BAD for having expectations.
But rather to help make you conscious of the ones you have.
If you haven’t read the first post in the 2 part – Twin Flame Expectation Series – “Twin Flame Expectation: Are your relationship expectations energetically repelling your Twin Flame?“, please do so. It includes a nice exercise to help you identify your own Twin Flame Expectations.
Just remember, if you do find some, don’t beat yourself up. Everything is just a learning experience for your soul.
You’ve got this.
Kristina. x
PS. If you like the information that I share and would like some coaching, advice or assistance on your journey, check out my new Twin Flame Coaching Services page. I would be honored to help.
