The DF Desire to Control the Twin Flame Journey

The Divine Feminine’s desire to control the Twin Flame Journey (and her/his Twin Flame), is a strong one. Newly awakened to the beauty and depth of true unconditional love, the longing and desire to keep feeling those feelings for (and from) your Divine Masculine (DM) is impossible to ignore. So much so, that most Divine Feminines (DFs) will willingly move mountains, or do “whatever it takes” to actively get themselves and their DM back into the ‘Twin Flame Bubble Love Stage’.

They try every 3D romantic ‘trick’ or allure under the sun.

They daydream about it.

They constantly strategize about how to make Twin Flame Physical Union happen.

They think:

If only my Divine Masculine (DM) would wake up
If only my DM would let me help them
If only my DM would leave ‘abc’?
If only their DM would do ‘xyz’ instead?

….. then the DM and DF would instantly get to union. Yay!

The Journey back to ‘Yourself’ & your Twin Flame

But Divine Feminines need to understand that getting to Twin Flame Physical union isn’t the main (or even first) goal on this journey – although it is still important in its own right.

The first goal on this Twin Flame journey is drop everything that prevents you from actively being your authentic Soul Self (and your TF has this goal too!)

By this I mean:

old beliefs,
old actions,
old ideas,
any “shoulds”,
any “musts”, etc

In other words: – Drop anything related to ourselves or how “we should/shouldn’t” act that originated from other (often ‘official’) sources outside of ourselves.

The ways in which others tried to CONTROL us!

This will have happened lots in your life – especially when 3^rd parties would have benefited from control over you. Nearly EVERYONE would have done it to you: Your family, your community groups, religions, governments, employers, etc.

Controlling other humans is an old 3D programme that is based in fear.

If it is coming up in your Twin Flame connection, wake up to the fact that you are ‘trying to control’ and STOP IT!

Control comes with a frequency of fear and is not compatible with love.

Desire for Control is based in fear, not love

From a DF’s perspective, the desire to control her/his Twin Flame Journey can come from a number of reasons – frustration, irritation, a ticking biological clock, just a name a few.

More often it comes from two mistakes:

APPLYING OLD TEMPLATES: You try to apply old ‘3D relationship beliefs, rules, & timelines’ to your divine 5D-frequency Twin Flame Soul connection/union, and wonder why it doesn’t work.

ASSUMING THAT ‘KNOWLEDGE’ OF THE TWIN FLAME JOURNEY IS ALL THAT IS NEEDED FOR UNION: The initially more ‘aware’ DF can get ‘spiritually’ get stuck (or spiritually by-pass), when the DF falls into the trap of ‘believing’ that simply KNOWING about the TF journey (ie. cognition of it), is all that is needed to reach TF union. They also think that their DM just needs to ‘consciously’ get it, and all will be good! (Nice try, but not true).

DFs have healing work to do

As those of you who have been on this journey for a while and actually done ‘the WORK’ know…

The more clearing and healing that the Divine Feminine does, the lighter and less dense/heavy (ie. density) you are, and the clearer and easier your entire TF journey becomes.

🔥Also, the less ‘control’ you try to apply to your Twin Flame Journey, the more you allow your Soul and Divine Timing to align you energetically with the frequency of Twin Flame Union.🔥

If you are tired, feed-up, and exhausted by this journey: Stop trying to row your boat up stream, and align with divine “flow” (& timing) instead.

Your Divine Masculine isn’t the problem

A common Divine Feminine belief on this journey (by DFs with a strong desire to control), is that that their DM is the weakest link on the TF journey. (Not true at all!)

(Note: If you’ve have been thinking that perhaps your DM isn’t doing ‘enough’, please be ‘aware’ enough to notice what is being mirrored here. Are you, as a DF, reflecting or mirroring your own fears about being ‘weakest link’ (ie. not good enough) onto your own Divine Masculine, rather than seeing these underlying fears, as your own?).

Our DMs actually hold an amazing supportive (think: strong silent type) role on this TF journey. Remember ’The Footprints in the Sand Prayer’ by Mary Stevenson (where at times there is only one set of footsteps).

That is when the DM is doing the strong ‘energetic’ lifting in the background, to help his/her Divine Feminine do their initial spiritual/energetic work.

Fear is learnt, programmed via our 3D world

Our actual weakest link is OUR (fearful ego-based) MIND and the ‘trust’ we’ve had in it (& ALL the limited ‘beliefs’ that we’ve been programmed to believe as ‘true’ for so long). With so many people around us, seemingly following the same ‘instruction book’, we just assumed what we had been ‘told’ was truth, and didn’t take time to question ourselves, or those beliefs.

But as the Twin Flame Journey shows us, we really do need to question our 3D reality – a lot more is going on energetically behind the scenes that we’ve ever noticed before. Angel numbers? Feathers? Your TF’s name EVERYWHERE!!! 11:11, 111, 444 etc😊

You COULD still continue to follow your OLD controlling behaviours to try and stay safe. But, truly ‘how well is that working for you?

Now that you realise that the Universe is conspiring to help on your Twin Flame Journey…step fully into your Twin Flame Journey, embrace the changes that are occurring within you, and TRUST IT!

The Universe has your back!

Give up your Ego’s control over your Life, and your DM

Part of the reason why the DFs desire to control the journey is so intense, is so we can come to the realization of how much our Ego has been programmed to control our life, allowing us to change it!.

Generally, this involves discovering two things:

EXTERNAL PROGRAMMING: How we’ve been programmed to act in certain ways – societal programming.
UNCOVERING YOUR ADAPTIVE BEHAVIOURS: To also notice any other ‘wounds’ or protective ‘ways of behaving’ (ie. maladaptive coping) that we haven’t uncovered or recognised in ourselves yet. What we are aware of we can heal.

(We are on a journey back to ‘re-unite’ with our Authentic Soul Selves… remember? This means dismantling anything that gets in the way, or stops ‘us’ from truly being ‘us –> our Soul version’.)

Your Safety Wound

For the Divine Feminine (especially if you are in a female body), issues such as perfectionism, people-pleasing, and being the peace maker, all play in a role in controlling tendencies which we may have learnt in childhood, or throughout our life.

We all unconsciously adopted these ‘protective’ tendencies, because our human ‘EGOs’ tend to feel safer when we have some level of control.

If we were ‘perfect’… we were unlikely to be blamed for or in trouble for anything.
Being a ‘people pleaser’ or ‘peace keeper’ who kept conflict down in our environment… would often keep us safer too.

Throughout out our lives to-date, we’ve felt that we’ve NEEDED to have some level of ‘control’ over our external world somewhat, to help us feel more physically and mentally safe, ourselves. (But that isn’t TRUE ‘safely’. Trying to control external events, or other people never works. But, trusting your Soul to lead your life DOES! )

So, in essence the desire for control (for most people) isn’t about improving things or helping, but comes from an unconscious desire to stay safe.

This means that when the desire to control your Twin Flame comes up in the Twin Flame Journey, it really isn’t surprising. The up-and-down roller coaster nature of this Twin Flame journey is so severe, that it is enough to make even the most die-hardy ‘adrenaline junkies’ feel a little ‘queasy’.

Recognise and clear your hidden fears

We all have fears, there is no shame in this.

The point of this post is to wake you up to the fact that YOU have them, so you can address them. Rather than THEM, unconsciously ‘controlling’ you, and you trying to control your Twin Flame journey in return.

Your Twin Flame is in your life and mirrors these fears to you, to bring them to your attention for a reason.

Unaddressed and hidden fears can keep you stuck on your Twin Flame Journey, so I ask you to sit down now and to question your beliefs and your emotions regarding your TF journey.

“What fears and worries are behind your desire to control your DM?” (The other ½ of your Soul?)

If you desperately want your DM to wake up -> Do you have a fear that they won’t?
If you worry that they will chose someone else in the meantime, and not chose you -> This is a fear, too.

Are you still in the vibration of FEAR, rather than LOVE?

DFs need to dump any fears that hold you in a frequency of lack or worry, as these fears hold you back.

So does, any untrue belief too, that:

YOU must be perfect’ for everything to the all right
Or, that your ‘life’ or your ‘Twin Flame’ must appear a ‘certain way’ for you to be safe.

The only thing we can control on this journey is our SELF – but even this takes self-awareness, and serious inner-work to work out why we think and act the way we do.

It is time to reflect Twin Flame:

Q.What underlying wound(s) create your desire to control?

Please take the time today to work you why you are trying to control the Twin Flame Journey and your Twin Flame. (These could be the things that hold back your physical Twin Flame union.)

Write yourself a list. Write at least five reasons, or more if you have them.

Now that you have awareness of these fears that cause you to want to control, it will be easier to not fall prey to them.

Remind yourself that is it safe to let go of control

Next time you feel like you want to ‘control’ your TF, here is a simple exercise that you can do to remind yourself NOT to do this.

EXERCISE: Imagine a conversation with your Twin Flame, in which you tell them that you only want them to wear exactly the same clothes as you? Including underwear, shoes, and even jewellery. (Oh, what a funny picture that makes) 🤣

Actively imagine how ‘well accepted and followed’ that suggestion will go down with your Twin Flame?

Will they do what you TELL them to? Or, will they REJECT your suggestions. 🤔

(Note: Wouldn’t you reject it too, if your Twin Flame tried to force you to do this?)

No-one want to be controlled. Neither you, or your Twin.

A Twin Flame’s desire ‘NOT to be controlled’ is even stronger than that of the average ‘human’, given you and your TF are one Soul in two bodies.

Both of you want to reach your own ‘internal & authentic’ alignment… and this is what brings you together in physical union. (HINT! HINT!)

The Twin Flame Work (Your Homework)

Spend some time in reflection.

Find out it is about you that underlies your desire to control (Ie, please pleasing, perfectionism, etc) and fix it.

You will be so glad that you did.

Some final words…….

Remember to find some faith on this journey and stick to it. The Universe brought you and your Twin Flame together and it will help you ‘re-align’ with each other again. You just need to ‘allow’ it to do so, by ‘dropping’ any current ‘my way or the highway’ approach, that you might have.

I can tell you, as someone who has been on this journey for over a decade, every time I thought I was ready for union, I really wasn’t… until suddenly I was.

Trust in this, and trust in your own intuition.

You’ve got this!

Kristina x

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