One of the most common questions I see on the Twin Flame Journey is, ‘How do I get my Twin Flame back?’.
This question usually comes from the Divine Feminine Twin Flame, who discovers fairly early on, that there is something really special about their connection with their Twin Flame.
But I also see the question pop up too, from Awakening Divine Masculines, who after many years of being unable to forget their Divine Feminine Twin Flame (and often after many prior rejections of them), wonder how to get their Twin Flame back.
This post will address this question of how to get your Twin Flame to return, for both the Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine.
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PART 1 – How the Divine Feminine can get their DM back (DM, please read too).
Realize you can only change yourself
Dear Divine Feminine Twin Flames, you can only get your Twin Flame back when you start to realize that it is your own behaviours you need to change, NOT your Divine Masculines (DMs).
This should make logical sense. Right?
We can NEVER change anyone else. Only they can change themselves via their own desires to do so. All we CAN DO is to change our reaction to that person. (ie. not react so strongly, or not let them affects us so much).
In other words, LOVE THEM anyway, in spite of, or along-side, their behaviours. (Especially since when on a Twin Flame Journey, your Divine Masculines ‘behaviour’ toward you, isn’t always “their” behaviour, but rather YOUR OWN that they are ‘mirroring’ back to you.)
Act compassionately with regards to each other (and yourself)
Think of a two-year-old who throws their food down on the kitchen floor. Rather than reacting ‘badly’, we take into consideration that the two-year-old doesn’t really understand the impact or consequences of what they do, so we act compassionately and ‘temper’ (reduce) our reactions.
The same need to act compassionately, applies to both you and your Twin Flame.
Why BOTH, I say?
Well, just because the Divine Feminine “KNOWS” (ie. is intellectually aware) they are a Twin Flame on a Twin Flame Journey, doesn’t mean that s/he necessarily FULLY understands the journey.
(This lack of understanding is one of the BIG reasons that I started this website, and created all my courses, sharing my channelled insights and own personal lived experience. To help the realizations and understanding of the Twin Flame Journey SINK IN!)
Realize nearly everything we have be taught about relationships is wrong
Our first mistake comes when we meet our Twin Flame and we assume it is a ‘normal 3D’ love/sex based ‘relationship’. But it is not!
Our bad’ for misunderstanding. But it occurred because we didn’t know there was another way. We didn’t know that we could create conscious-love filled partnerships with our Twin Flame. One that DIDN’T follow old toxic patterns that we see physically played out in the TV and the media, every day (and sadly considered to be ‘normal’).
We have all been ‘pre-programmed’ by organised religion, and society to expect relationships to work a certain way, and that influences our thoughts, beliefs, and action, whether we realise it or not.
You might have personally seen some of this ‘mis-beliefs’ around relationships, playing out in your own Twin Flame journey, when you entered the Twin Flame Crisis and Twin Flame Runner / Chaser stages. Especially if you, the DF, responded to your DM’s apparent ‘ghosting you’, ‘abandoning’ you, or ‘rejecting you’, with old 3D manipulative patterns of trying to make them jealous, talking down about their current partners, and perhaps even trying to break up any existing relationships. Or just even being nasty towards your Twin Flame reflects these ‘old’ beliefs too.
Be aware that these toxic behaviours won’t bring you Twin Flame back, and will (temporarily) push them even further away, until you both learn.
Why?
Twin Flames are based in LOVE, and only re-unite in LOVE
Because, these toxic or manipulative behaviours aren’t based in LOVE, which is who and what you and your Twin Flame are!
💞 Twin Flame are based upon LOVE, (and when ‘healed’) emanate the frequency of True LOVE / Unconditional LOVE.💞
What do I mean when I say ‘healed’? Well, when they have healed the wounded parts of themselves and removed their over-protective EGO from the drivers seat, so they can let their Soul / Heart / God, lead their Life. They are now Authentic Soul-Self emanating LOVE!
Your Twin Flame ‘mirrors’ to you everywhere you DON’T love and accept yourself.
Any toxic pattern that might show up on your Twin Flame Journey, is an invitations for you to see what is wounded or triggered in you. (So, you can see it, and heal it – rather than continue to ignore it, or stuff down all your emotions around it)
Your Twin Flame is unlikely to be a narcissist, but they will often ‘mirror’ narcissistic traits or behaviours to you, if you yourself are indulging in ‘trying to control’ or ‘manipulate’ events to get your Twin Flame to leave existing relationships, so they can be with you. (In other words, you are showing ‘narcissistic’ tendencies yourself)
Your Twin Flame is a mirror, to help you to heal and see, long-term wounding and methods of behaviours that you never consciously knew, or realized you did or had. Any self-protection mechanisms that you often use, such as sarcasm, passive-aggressive behaviour, or simply pushing people away before they can hurt you, are all mirrored by your Twin Flame.
This process can be VERY ROUGH to undergo, especially when you didn’t realise what is happening, (and wondering why your Twin Flame seems to have changed from that original extremely loving person). But, the actions and behaviours that your Twin Flame is currently reflecting or mirroring to you, is actually giving you the ultimate, most loving gift. 🎁
True SELF love MUST come BEFORE Twin Flame Love
Not only does your Twin Flame Love you, but they are helping you to find your OWN love and beauty, so that perhaps for the first time in your life, you can learn to love and appreciate you.
To see the wonderfulness of you, and understand why your Twin Flame loves you unconditionally too. (How can they not? …since they are you, and you are them.)
Until this realization and absolute self-love happens though, your ‘walls’ are up. 🧱
As much as you want love from your Twin Flame, you really can’t accept them and let love in, unless, it looks and/or arrives in a “certain” special way….. a “certain way” that makes you feel safe.
You’ll have conditions such as expectations, attachments, and take everything personally, as you can’t be detached from these ‘requirements. (Notice how this is starting to sound a bit ‘Twin Flamey’?) Yes. Because these conditions and external attachments are boundaries that your Human Ego has put up, to help you feel safe.
You need to realize that” a) when you ARE LOVE; b) when you are IN LOVE with yourself; c) when you are EMANATING LOVE to others; and d) you are especially FULL of UNCONDITIONAL LOVE to your Twin Flame. Then you are already ‘SAFE’.
And, no longer need your 3D world/experiences to look a certain way with expectations/attachments, etc to help you feel safe… because you already know you are!
When you are living your life at the vibratory level of LOVE, only LOVE comes in. Only LOVE is a match.
Change starts with YOU and realizing that LOVE comes from WITHIN, first
So, Divine Feminines, as I said earlier, you need to take some action to get your Twin Flame back.
What are these actions? Well, YOUR actions, (as you need to change YOURSELF .. and not your Twin Flame) is to realize that “LOVE is the Answer” It always has been.
You were just going around it the wrong way, trying to find love (ie. looking outside of you for love). When actually you were meant to CREATE love, TO BE love. To have it COME FROM WITHIN. Rather than desperately trying to get love from an outside source, other than yourself.
(You’ve ALWAYS been complete and whole within yourself, dear one. You just never truly realised it).
All you need is:
- Love for YOURSELF,
- love for your CREATOR, and
- then you LOVING OTHERS.
When you ACT IN love, WITH love (rather than in self-preservation), you get 💗LOVE 💗 back.
Ohh.. Is that a text message?? Your 🔥Twin Flame🔥 wants to say ‘hello’….! 💬📨
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PART 2 – How the Divine Masculines can get their Twin Flame back (DFs, please read too)
If you are a Divine Masculine reading this post, realise that all the advice that I have given Divine Feminine Twin Flames, applies to you too. (You and your Twin Flame are ONE, after all!!!)
Now, as a Divine Masculine, you (sadly) didn’t get the ‘luxury’ of knowing you were a Twin Flame on a Twin Flame Journey.
Your ‘role’ within your Twin Flame partnership, was to do this journey ‘blind’, and follow your internal guidance, with no conscious knowledge or mental awareness of the Twin Flame Journey. Whilst your Divine Feminine (who DID know about it early on) was being taught, to TRUST, and have FAITH in their own spiritual insights and your connection to each other, even when all 3D signs appeared to ‘prove’ the opposite.
Have Self-Compassion for the fact that you didn’t know or understand
I know that you probably have regrets for some things you’ve said, and some things you might have done. Things that probably made sense at the time, but might have ‘temporarily’ pushed your Twin Flame and their love away from you.
Please have self-compassion, and don’t beat yourself up over these things. (You didn’t know what you didn’t know).
The way you reacted or the things you said, were probably a reaction out of fear which was totally understandable. It is also not totally “on you”, or your fault…..
Be aware, it was also ‘orchestrated’ by your Soul needing you to reject and say certain things to your Divine Feminine, to force her/him to go within and change. For your Divine Feminine to start their Twin Flame Work on this Journey, and to shock them out of the thinking your marvellous, spiritual and energetic Twin Flame Connection should be treated like a “normal” relationship. (A surrender that sometimes only happens to your Divine Feminine, after they’ve tried everything else…)
DMs – You are the Mirror to help you DF (and yourself) heal
Your job was to make your Divine Feminine Twin Flame question him/herself, so they would analyse and question:
- their entire lives,
- who they are,
- what they’ve been told,
- what they believed, and
- what they previously (and now currently) desired in their lives.
It is highly likely your Divine Feminine’s life would have fell apart, not long after meeting you. She or he may have also gotten sick, and undergone multiple Dark Nights of the Soul (DNoS).
All of which are part of the Twin Flame Spiritual Awakening Journey.
The Twin Flame Spiritual Awakening
This Twin Flame Spiritual Awakening Journey, is a process that you, too, followed as the Divine Masculine. Totally “breaking down”, “breaking apart”, to be born anew in the true and proper authentic version of your (loving) self.
Not the prior, older, fearful version of you, that 3D life and all your wounding had forced you to do (in order to conform, fit it, and as an act of self-preservation to keep you safe).
That prior time and way of living – the ‘old you’ is over. As you and your Twin flame now do the Twin Flame Work on this journey (all the break-downs to breakthrough), so that your life and lives together get to a fresh start again.
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Building a new LOVE based life
As you and your Twin Flame come back together, you now create a life based on LOVE, not fear.
A new life that expresses:
- Freedom (NOT societal rules), and
- Following your Heart (NOT what other people say you ‘should’ and ‘must’ do).
Creating this new life is where you do the hard work and often have to abandon old goals, prior commitments and earlier achievements (ie. career), that no longer holds your heart or calls to you, so you can instead move forward, to what IS calling to you – your Twin Flame and the desires of your Soul.
Have the Courage to make the changes to your new life
As the Masculine Energy, please understand that you aren’t ‘copping out’, or doing a ‘runner’ from your past life, but instead showing great Courage to start anew. Yes, you may have committed to your current relationship and maybe even a marriage, but that was the ‘old unawakened’ you, who no longer exists.
You now need to 100% honour follow the call of your Soul. (Ideally, making it all happen in a way that hurts others, as least as possible). Yet making sure it DOES happen.
You remain 100% committed to the new you, and creating a new life that resonates with your own new levels of SELF LOVE. As you emanate the love that you hold for yourself, to the greater world as a whole.
Willingness to show vulnerability is actually a strength
You are masculine ‘enough’ to eat some humble pie, apologise, and potentially ‘cop’ some flack from your Divine Feminine, about prior behaviours, you might have shown. By, having done much work on yourself (and changed many elements beliefs) you are OK with having your ‘failings’ pointed out, because you know you are no longer that previous version of woman/man. You don’t get stuck in shame.
You have changed.
You step forward in love towards your Divine Feminine, showing how you’ve changed, and only bring LOVE for this new beginning.
And just like you previously mirrored your Divine Feminine’s ‘unconscious’ behaviours, back to them. They will now mirror yours to you. Your LOVE. They will absolutely ‘mirror’ it back to you.
A LOVE, the level of which you’ve never experienced before (you couldn’t), until you came into truly loving yourself, first.
Build a new relationship together by BEING ‘LOVE’.
Your life together now, won’t be typical, and to be honest you really wouldn’t want it to be either. Old 3D ‘relationships’ with all their conditions and expectations don’t resonate. Instead, being completely open, honest, and always showing how you feel without fear, does resonate.
You and your Twin Flame are now in a LOVING Conscious Partnership, intuitively guided and heart-based.
It won’t necessarily always be ‘automatic’ smooth-sailing, the road less travelled never is, but you and your Twin Flame can work it out together… in LOVE!
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CONCLUSION – How to get your Twin Flame to come back (for both DF and DM)
So, in answer to “How to get your Twin Flame back”. It is simple, but not always easy.
- Change yourself. Realize the role of your Twin Flame in ‘mirroring’ to you all your woundings and where you need to be healed.
- Become and express yourself as the LOVE you wish to see in the World. Not just towards others, but yourself and your Twin Flame.
- Be open and honest with your Twin Flame. You’ve both said and done things in ignorance of the Twin Flame process, and now come back to each other to stay more open, aware and loving.
- Keep at it. Learning to communicate with your Twin Flame will take some time. (Note: One of you, the Divine Feminine, often gets there first to ‘anchor’ the frequencies, so the DM can follow.) Be patient with both yourself and your Twin. There are many things in life worth ‘waiting’ for, and getting into Union with your Twin Flame is absolutely one of them.🔥🔥
Hold the light, and love BOTH of you! And, the only thing that can energetically be mirrored back to ‘you’ is your LOVE.
This is how to get your Twin Flame back!
Much Love,
Kristina x
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Happy Birthday too, to any other LEOs out there!
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